Friday, October 1, 2010

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." - Hebrews 11:1

This verse is speaking to me tremendoulsy!! The past two months of my life have been some of the craziest times! I almost lost my oldest brother, my mom was diagnosed with cancer , I changed college plans last min. and the guy that i thought i would spend the rest of my life with told me he didn’t love me the way I loved him. This has been quite a shakeup to the way I thought things were going to play out. And this is where I realize that that’s it that was MY plan, and Not Gods Plan! I’m not saying all this for anyone to feel sorry for me bc that is definitely The last thing i want in me writing this, I’m writing this bc God has control over everything if only we let him!! On top off all these things that seem bad or discouraging there has been plenty of good! I have grown so much closer to my family, I started a new job and i really like it and love helping people. I have made some really good friends at work, one of which has become one of my best friends and has been so encouraging thru everything! I passed my State test and Im a CNA now, Which I Know isnt the top thing but it’s definitely a start to what i want to do with the rest of my life!! And Most of all I have grown so much closer to God in these past 2 months than i have ever been and I love the way it feels! God is MORE than ENOUGH for me and Realizing this and truly seeking out what God wants for my life is such a great thing, No it doesnt give me all the answers to every question but knowing that Im not doing it alone and that God is SO much bigger than the storms of life is so Phenomenal! The verse i refered to at the begining is Hebrews 11:1 and this verse to me means trust the Lord that he Knows exactly what is in store for my life and to be certain of that! And by being certain of that what I Hope for is what God wants for my life! Having Faith isnt about just saying I have faith it’s about living that out, putting myself out there for what God wants for me! I don’t understand some of the things that have been thrown at me in life but I have learned that is OK not to understand, bc God does!! God has been speaking to me lately and im not sure of a lot of things about my life right now, like where to go back to school? When? Which program to go through spring or fall? What’s going to happen with my mom?  .. Just plenty of things like this! But I do Know God Doesn’t make mistakes and that he has a reson for everything! I want to have the Faith that i don’t just talk about having but that is apparent in my life! God doesnt always answers our prayers the way we want or (the way we think we want)...sometimes the best answer is the unanswered prayers. I am reading an amazing book called Sun Stand Still and it is talking about having an audacious Faith and Stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something about the way you feel and the things God has placed in front of you without question. I want to be able to say Lord, Here I am, Send ME! And know that this statement is whole hearted and meaningful! I know God is at work in my life even tho  I don’t have all the answers!  Ok so that’s where I’m at in my life today… Thanks for reading warned ya my head's a little crazy!  (=